A Sister in Zion

I Was Being Prepared…

I am going to throwback all the way to grade school…

When I was younger, I hated going to church. Not because I didn’t have a testimony or because it’s 3 hours long… but because the girls were pretty mean. I didn’t feel comfortable being around those girls or participating in activities that they were at. I felt like an outcast. I was always the odd man out because I was loud and flirty and I think that painted a target on my back. It allowed for others to judge and gossip about my every action.

But you know what? They are human. Each of us is flawed and gossips and judge. You know who is perfect? God! He is perfect in every way. His gospel is perfect even when the people leading it are not. For years I let other people dictate my relationship with the church. I used it as an excuse not to be there. Once I realized that, I decided to change my whole outlook on attending church and my relationship with my Father in Heaven. I started to rely completely on the Lord. He became my best friend, my confidant, my strength, and my comfort. I learned to turn to Him at all times because I know I can always trust Him.

As I made the decision to get married, I relied heavily on the Lord. I was a little afraid because I was agreeing to sealing my life to another’s for all eternity. I have never regretted my decision to get married. To this day, I will stand by the feeling of peace I got when I chose to marry the man who is no longer my husband.

I felt that same peace when I decided to leave my marriage. This time though, I felt so much more comfort and strength because it was a much more intimidating decision for me!

I don’t think I was being prepared for a divorce. No one is ready for that! However, I do think the lessons I learned about relying on the Lord in high school helped me in this stage of my life. I have amazing friends and family who have helped, loved, and supported me but the Lord helps me on a much deeper level. He helps my spirit feel peace and calms my mind.

D&C 6:14 “Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thee for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou are at this time.”

I found this scripture on Sunday and I couldn’t help but feel immense love and gratitude for the scriptures! From high school until now, I was being taught how to rely on the Lord through prayer. How to turn to Him in all things so that I could be led wherever He wanted me to be!

I was being prepared for the trials I have faced. And I am still being prepared for many more.

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3 thoughts on “I Was Being Prepared…

  1. Syd… I don’t even think we’ve met in real life, but we’re distant cousins of some kind (our moms are first cousins). I subscribed to your blog just now and have read through all of your posts. Thanks for sharing and for putting yourself out there. I’m sure this process has not been easy for you. I love the outlook you’ve chosen to have about it all, though I’m sure that’s a daily challenge as well.

    I have been engaged twice (I actually was engaged two years ago today), and have never gotten married. I don’t know what would have happened if I had married either of them. But what I do know is it has challenged me to figure out who I am and what makes me happy on my own. So much growth and change will come from this, even if you don’t end up as a spinster cat lady like me 😉 Just continue on with your faith and your good attitude. You’re beautiful and still so young.

    Also, don’t feel bad that your sister is the same height as you or that she looks the same age as you. I taught junior high for seven years and often was mistaken for a student. I hated it then, but now that I’m 30 and hating my increasing wrinkles, I wish I had appreciated my young appearance.

    Anyway. I look forward to more of your blogs.


    1. Thank you for your comments! I can’t keep track of the family on my moms side haha there are too many! Honestly, each day is better and better! I have already felt so much change and growth from the entire process. Thank you for following!


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