Okay guys… I have been a little frustrated lately.
Over the last couple weeks, I have obviously shared a lot about my divorce and my experiences. I knew when I made the decision to do that, I would receive some backlash. I knew as I started hanging out with old friends, dating, and going back to the singles ward, I would get some of those wonderful stares and silent judgements.
What I didn’t expect was for people to say some of the things they did. In my life I strive to always be kind to everyone I meet. I may not like everyone I meet, and I might not want to be some peoples friend, but that doesn’t mean I think less of them as a person.
Just to give an example of some of the comments I have heard:
“She was too young to get married anyways.”
“She clearly wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment.”
“She gave up.”
“If she couldn’t make it work this time, what makes her think she can make another marriage work?”
“Clearly you don’t believe in the Atonement or forgiveness.”
Over the last couple years, one of my consistent trials is letting others comments not affect me. I don’t want what others say determine my actions or make me feel less, but words hurt.
Who are you to judge my decision? You have no idea how much thought and prayer and seeking guidance went into making the decision to get married. The same amount of thought and prayer and guidance that went into leaving. You have no clue what I went through.
Why are we so quick to judge? Why is it that we look at others suffering as something they have brought upon themselves somehow? We came to this earth to be tested. We signed up for the good, the bad, and the ugly. Each of us suffers from something different.
But wouldn’t it ease our suffering if others lifted rather than cut down? When we judge, we are making the situation harder for another.
Your words don’t change my decision. They don’t change that I am happy and confident and moving forward with my life. I am lucky to have the support necessary to feel that way. Others are not.
Next time you go to make a comment about someone else’s life decision, look back at your life and recognize you’re not perfect either. And just maybe, instead of being rude, you could extend a loving arm and help them through.