I have noticed something. And I know I am not the only one who has noticed this.
With me coming out about my divorce, I have received a lot of feedback from a lot of different people. I have had people reach out that I haven’t spoken to in years, some who I have never met, and some who are mutual friends of someone else I know. And there is one common theme I feel from most of these people…
Divorce is WAY to common in the church! We all know divorce is common in the world. That’s just obvious. But I have seen and heard from so many people about their experience with divorce. And the majority of them are members of the LDS faith.
I am not an exception. I am one of too many!
And I say too many because divorce should not be this common. So many were, like me, sealed in the temple! How heart breaking is it that these marriages made in the right place are either coming to an end or are over? I wanted to just touch on two thoughts I have repeatedly had while talking to others about their situations.
First: Please rely on the Spirit!!! The Lord will NEVER leave you on your own during this time of your life! I promise you that the decision to stay and work on a marriage or the decision to leave is going to be hard! But I also promise you that the Lord will lift you up and help you find the peace you are seeking in either decision.
Second: I am more than willing to be someone you can talk to! However, I can’t really give you serious advice. That role is meant for your bishop! I can be an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or a friend to pick you up and go out for ice cream!
I can’t always say I feel your pain or I understand it because each situation is different. I can say I understand on a higher level than some others who have never been there but some of you have kids and I can’t relate.
For those of you who are not married, I ask you to do one thing.
ASK QUESTIONS! As you date and get into serious relationships, ask as many questions as you can! The dating stages are the best time to really get to know someone deeply and determine how well you guys can work together.
Some example questions may be:
- How many kids do you want?
- Do you believe in having your kids participate in youth activities like campouts or mutual?
- Have you ever suffered from an addiction of any kinds?
- If so, what kind?
- What steps have you taken to overcome it?
- What do you believe your role is in a marriage?
If you are in a serious relationship, or engaged, start your goal making NOW! Set goals for yourself, with your significant other, and for your future family!
I have a goal written in my journal to attend the temple weekly! I would also like to attend with my spouse weekly if time permits. Once my children are old enough, I would like to attend with my kids at least once a month, or every other month. I am not perfect in this but it is a on-going goal! The time to prepare is NOW! Whether you are married, engaged, dating, or single. Prepare for the blessings and hardships of marriage by strengthening your testimony and defense against the adversary!